16 years old and the terrace balcony of our second-floor DDA flat seemed as good a place as any to mourn the loss of John Lennon – almost 2 decades after he’d been shot. I sat there, walkman in hand, earphones firmly embedded, weeping silently, listening to ‘Love‘.
“Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved.”
It’d been over a year since a close friend gave me my first mixed tape ever – a collection of Beatles‘ tracks. Until then, life had been pretty comfortable under that rock where I’d been living because I had no idea who they were and what they did (beyond ‘Ob La Di Ob La Da’, which we’d sung at school and which I thought was, well, pretty lame).
The contents of this mixed tape were devious – a brilliant mix of the standards & more obscure tracks, of old Beatles and new Beatles. It had Hey Jude, Across The Universe and Yesterday. It also had Bungalow Bill, I’m Happy Just To Dance With You and Eleanor Rigby. I wore that magnetic tape out like it was the last thing left post nuclear apocalypse. Thanks to The Beatles, 1996-97 was the year I lost my heart to all things music.
It was like a secret handshake that I’d been considered worthy enough to learn. I will never, ever forget the first time I heard Come Together (I thank the good lord I dodged the million cover versions out there). What was that booming, driving sound that made my rib-cage go badoom-badoom? The bass. The bass. I was on my way home after xeroxing some school notes, when I decided that the bass would be my favourite sound from now on.
Other revelations of a more personal kind followed. I was a pretty lonely teenager, who felt unseen & unheard. I knew I was different from my family but didn’t know how. Music – and more specifically The Beatles – opened the door to my insides. Suddenly, emotions weren’t silly. In fact, feelings were things so important that songs were being written about them. Love, loneliness, pain, triumph – all the things I couldn’t express outwardly in my ‘normal’ life, I could feel through song.
Of course, as The Beatles (and other great popular acts like Michael Jackson, The Stones etc.) have done for countless others before me, they laid open the portal to music in general. I ventured into deeper waters: Led Zeppelin, Sting, The Doors, U2…some, I made lifelong companions, others I let go of. As I grew older, I developed an individual taste in music, separate from my rock-loving, Floyd-digging, college concert-hopping friends. Just as I developed an individual set of values, writing style, work ethic and dress sense. The Beatles? They survived the transition from cassette to Ipod (the best of only, no complete works) but were seldom played. I thought I’d moved on.
Then American Idol 2010 happened. Beatles Week. I found myself tearing up, listening to tunes that were my teenage companions be reinvented by aspiring popstars – some of them listening to The Beatles for the first time ever. It was a musical homecoming – in as much as it is possible to go home again.
And so, I took out all my Beatles stuff from cold storage and rifled through those old songs again. Stumbled upon a journal entry from that night in 1997, when I sat on my balcony crying. I heard, once again, my elder sister’s worried voice asking what was wrong and a young girl, yearning to connect with something real, exclaim in gut wrenching tones – “John Lennon….he’s uh….he’s (sniff)…he’s DEAD!!”
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April 26, 2010 at 6:14 am
Mimi
Sister!! I love it. I love this blog. FULL support!
Its the sister Majumdar btw, and I just had to leave a comment and let you know that I am super super super excited with the similarity of music memories. Seriouslyyy!!! I’ve blogged about music only a couple of times, and it surprises me that theres SO many little things you’ve said that I can relate to and I wrote about too! You’ll see what i’m saying.
I will leave you link of me blog in your facebook inbox (i am shy blogger, i keep it secret). and i think u’ll like the two musical ones. it has reference to the doctor sahib and his influence on my musical taste too! 🙂
FULLEST support sister! And ohhhh I love love love Priscilla Ahn!
April 26, 2010 at 7:56 am
Aquatic Static
Oye! Sooo good to see you here. Yes, I absolutely want to read your blog, 100%. Please to be sending.
Thanks for the awesomeness of your commentage. 🙂
April 26, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Purba
Music and girlhood memories entwined, long ignored and forgotten. An announced note and it makes you go in a rewind mode. You become the dreamy girl you once were.
April 26, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Aquatic Static
🙂 So true. Thanks for taking the time to drop by and share your thoughts.
April 30, 2010 at 11:13 am
Ani Difranco « And Your Bird Can Sing
[…] 30, 2010 in Ani Difranco There have been two musical landmarks in my life: The Beatles, who came to me when I was just waking up to myself & to music. And Ani Difranco, who came to […]
August 15, 2010 at 12:01 am
Haroon Riaz
Come Together is my all time favorite Beatles song. I usually use the song to test whenever I have to buy new speakers or headphones. And of course the original one. The BASS.